Having fun isn’t hard, when you’ve got a library card


Law Essay


Reynold’s Privilege


“A million monkeys, hammering a million typewriters for a million years, will eventually write the entire works of Shakespeare….”

 

I am just one monkey, and I have 2 days

Ou est les food?



Sorry for absence without leave, but for some reason my diary became suddenly full the past few days. I will firstly update you with my Food Soc antics, a night of pig nipples, Mickey Finns, and toilet trips. For anyone in Leeds a visit to Kendall’s bistro is a must, tucked away in the far end of town, this quaint restaurant slips underground into a French cavern. Under the cover of candlelight you are ushered in to gaze at the menu chalked on the wall. One of my highlights was the unexpected starter of binoculars, we were informed that this was for the short sighted who couldn’t see the chalk menu; I was half hoping to take them home and become a peeping Tom. I made the decision of 3 courses, and half a bottle of wine for £23…this was my first mistake!

There was great anticipation for the three courses that lay ahead of me; the bread baskets flowed  (I always make the most of free bread), and I sloshed my half bottle of wine from what appeared to be a vase, into my glass, whilst I waited for my goats cheese and red onion tart. Goats cheese is one of those things on a menu I just can’t resist, I salivate whilst ordering it, then pounce on it before it even hits the table; if dogs produced such amazing cheese then I would be tempted to try that as well. On the subject of nipples I will now tell you about the main course: Pork Belly; unfortunately someone’s pork belly still had a nipple attached, I winced as the person opposite me quite happily crunched it down along with his crackling. This little piggy went wee wee wee, straight in my mouth.It was delicious, and I had just enough room for my pot au chocolat; but this wasn’t the last I would see of the pork belly, hunched over the toilet at 4am it came lurching back for another tasting. Perhaps it was the wine, or the bottle of Mickey Finns I had after dinner? All I know was it wasn’t green, and I could only see traces of pork, I must have been saving it for later. My only hope is my next food soc outing won’t be quite so….messy. Cat has now been elected el presidente, already she is whipping up ideas in her head how to get more members, we have already recruited Francine, so our empire is slowly growing.

I have spent the last couple of days in love….yes you heard it here first, I am in love…..with a computer game! I have become completely addicted to “Super Mario Galaxy.” I found myself with Wii remote gripped in my hand, straining at the screen like a zombie, minutes slipped to hours, before I knew it a whole day was wasted.  I quite happily flung the fat Italian plumber around space, battling little monsters that resemble  potatoes, attempting to rescue Princess Peach. The old format remastered for the kids of today, I drifted back to a time when we would play “Mario 64” on the Nintendo 64. Back in my day each game was a clunky plastic cartridge that cost £50, we would spend hours trying to do it, getting our dad to do the levels we couldn’t, then swearing when he made a mistake; each pixel took up most of the screen, but we thought the graphics were amazing. My obsession went even further, when I wasn’t able to play it I made Jordan play through Skype and let me watch, barking orders at him even though I was unable to make anything out; I even tried to watch a walkthrough on Youtube.  I have decided now  is the time to sever the umbilical cord, I was ratty and annoyed, if someone tried to talk to me I would snap, so I think it was for the best to end our relationship; sorry Mario, you’re not the man for me.

Today I have finally started the essay, the clouds may be heavy outside, but over me they are lifting slightly. In an almost trance-like state I began to type; my fingers furiously bashed at the buttons, pulling quotes from my reading, throwing in my own intellectual ideas. I read up on the 10 threats to journalism, opting for sensationalist articles, apparently “If it bleeds, it leads.”Barely any time had passed and I realised my essay was half done; admittedly it is probably absolute rubbish, but I feel I have made a start, and Francine seems impressed. Apparently I have ‘changed,’ this new Tom that does work, and tries hard, where is the real me? On my other work front things aren’t going so well, I repeatedly try to contact the mounted division with no reply, I told cat I had tried to contact the ‘Munted’ division, which caused a giggle as we imagined Herman Munster on a horse, fighting crime in Hyde Park. My head is full of creative ideas for what to do, so much so it is in danger of exploding, and spraying these ideas all over my walls. After this mornings marathon type I think enough is enough for today, I will sit back, watch come dine with me, and let the hours roll away. Tomorrow may be the start of the busiest  two weeks of my life. Record this, film that, edit this, essay that. To top it off on Friday we have a trauma workshop; the ethics department will subject us to the real life horrors of journalism, how I cannot wait to be in a room of screaming actors, and busy journalists….. roll on summer!

Add 01 to vote for Gordon, Add 02 to vote for David


As mentioned on facebook it seems that the Jeremy Kyle studio has doubled up as a political boxing ring. When watching ‘First Election Debate’I am wondering whether this is the political style X-Factor that Simon Cowell said was his next move. It is nice to see Nick Clegg grabbing some air time, and holding his own against the political heavyweights; the underdog may still rise from the ashes. Along with the Nick Griffin ‘Question Time’ , this is the only political show I have ever watched; I thought I would jump on the bandwagon ,join this moment in history, and attempt to be intellectual. I am unsure if any of you actually watch my videos, but I don’t put them up for my own good! Please watch the one below, I promise it will make you laugh(on another note also watch Cassette Boy ‘The Apprentice.’)

Today I began the dreaded task of essay preparation, this, is in actual fact far harder than writing the essay itself. I found myself surrounded by piles of notes, felling like this cheeky chappy( If only I was made of £5 notes all my monetary woes would be solved). Upon reflection I do wonder what I do in my lectures, very little was legible at all; it mainly consisted of doodles, or messages to Francine asking her to go for a potato.  So with notes out the window I turned to my electronic friend, Google Scholar, and trawled through the musings of intellectuals. My head pounded with words, and my eyes seemed to morph into two squares; the glare of the computer forced me to give up after just one article as I tried to digest it. Perhaps tomorrow will be more fruitful? However, I do feel I have accomplished something, on the way to the gym I took the slight detour to the library and took out a book on journalism. How I can’t wait to enjoy the chapter on ethics, sat in my armchair, swirling a glass of brandy and muttering to myself whilst puffing on a pipe.

Now, on a less educational note I slipped further into my overdraft today; admittedly it was only £10, but I felt all my essay work deserved some retail therapy. Tucked away in a lost corner of the internet is a cute little website called Lazy Oaf, packed with trinkets and madly designed t-shirts, this is the very place I bought my burger hat all those weeks ago. Today’s purchase marks the first stage of new invention; new look, new hair (when I get my loan), new season. Here I am spending money before my loan even lands in my bank account, but hey it’s only money, and you can’t take it with you; also if I die I won’t have to pay it back… take that student finance. So, to the left is my brand new t-shirt, not very clear I know,but most of you will get to see it,and unfortunately the speech bubble isn’t included; I will have to fashion one of my own. Against advice I will shoehorn myself into a size small, as I am sick of having clothes hanging off me like and old bag lady; this choice I am sure I will regret as the tumble dryer chews it up and spits it out, fit only for a doll.

Well I end yet another rambling blog with reference to Iceland; sorry not you Kerry Katona. It appears that an aggravated  volcano has had the last laugh; sadly, this ensures the news will be filled with health reports, travel reports, and environmental reports for the next few weeks. Pictures of desolate concrete airports transformed into metal graveyards captured from the sky news copter, however I feel no sympathy for those stranded in warmer climbs! Terrorists volcano? ITV news has just compared the incident to a terrorist attack, causing travel chaos far worse than 9/11, wow mother nature really does know how to screw with us.

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