Not your usual 9-5

At 7.45 pm I rolled through my front door and collapsed on my bed; exhausted, sweaty, and needing a valuable burst from a can of lynx, I reflected at my day at the office. I have concluded that today was actually my longest day uni ever, I arrived on campus at 10am and spent a busy day as a journalist(boo hoo me). My stress levels peaked as I set down to the arduous task of editing my radio package, my earlier attempt at cobbling together interviewees appears to have paid off; so I spent most of the day arranging smashing glass, car alarms, and victims of crime. Edit days are the only ones I get stressed, and this seemed to cause much hilarity, but I simply zoned out the mocking laughs of Cat and Francine, and chewed my gum even harder. At 2 I took a detour off campus to help Francine record at “Natural England,” quite why their buildings are alongside the “Department for Work and Pensions” I will never know! When arriving I could tell this place meant business, rows of concrete bungalows, hidden behind a large barrier; the security guard waddled from his hut and demanded we declare our business. We promised each other we would never end up working in a place like this, there was an eeire army bunker/80’s Doctor Who set feel to it. Not long, and I was back at my desk spitting more venom at the screen and grinding my teeth into stubs; good news came in the form of my essay feedback. Ironic that an essay on mass paedophile incesto-maniac Josef Fritzl got my highest mark in a while; I obviously have a thing for the criminally insane,as I decided it was quite fun to write. Could this be me finally back on an even slope, I am slowly edging my grades up whilst chomping through my mountain of work; but just as one deadline nears the end, another lurches from the darkness.

Tomorrow brings yet more diary packed antics, I was half hoping to get a snazzy new haircut, but this idea has been put on the back burner. God forbid that my paid for education should take priority over a new image! When I eventually get one I am thinking the boy on the left has the right idea, that look would suit me to a tee. I am losing track of all days, and slowly slipping into a fantasy world; my brain has microwaved itself to the consistency of scrambled egg, a swirl of dates and times have become a lumpy mush in my head. All this information is sure to spill out sometime, leaving me as a lobotomous robot. I am positive that one day I will wake up, naked, on top of a crane, with no knowledge of how I have got there. After tomorrow’s deadline I am hoping to celebrate with a nice meal out (not even with food soc) and a trip to the “Urban Outfitters Party,” no sorry, i’m not that cool, it is open invite. I won’t quite stretch to paying £50 for a polo shirt, but I aim to blend in with the richer students, and try to act cool; the main reason I am going is for the promise of a free bar serving ‘Brothers’ cider. A nice frosty cider would de-stress me nicely.

The rest of the week also looks more promising, on Friday I will hopefully be going to watch Robert Downey Jr. zoom around the skies in a metal gimp suit, Mickey Roarke as a character named ‘Whiplash,’ and Scarlett Johansson in skin tight lycra. This isn’t some imaginary porno, but ‘Iron Man 2,’ a film I have been looking forward to since I surprisingly enjoyed the first one. If the film is as good as I think I may actually not mind paying the extortionate prices, but I will still sneak in a small picnic of food; £5 boxes of popcorn aren’t my thing. Saturday, a trip to Leicester for my friend Becky’s birthday, ‘Northern Monkeys, Souther Fairies,’ I will be whipping out my inflatable banana and putting on my best monkey voice, after enduring a 3 hour coach ride….ooh ah ooh. Sadly before all of this is that dreaded trauma day, another 9-5 doing my future career, oh it’s a hard life us students live.


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